sarita

kandiikoated @ 2006-03-23T17:54:00

2006-03-23T23:55:39Z

State District Judge Mike Erwin will formerly sentence Williams, 35, to die by lethal injection at a later date.

formerly? gosh, i expected more of theadvocate.com

kandiikoated @ 2005-10-17T09:48:00

2005-10-17T14:50:55Z

MindMap

kandiikoated @ 2005-10-02T22:24:00

2005-10-03T03:25:01Z

kandiikoated @ 2005-09-27T22:31:00

2005-09-28T03:31:15Z

i decided to look into this, because i was astounded that anyone would say they were thinking about sexual things at nine and this is the first i have ever heard of anything like this....

boy, age 18:thats a hard question...but the anwer would be about 8 years old & before then I pretty much thought of girls as guys anddd see, for me, what I find interesting is that it wasn't until I was presented with the stimulus that girls can be arousing until I starting hanging around one that inevitably grew an interest for me (otherwise this story would be shorter) that I felt anything towards the idea of an oppisite sex, much less self stimulation, as I didn't understand anything about what sex might be, which I didn't even even partly understand until about 6 months later (ie...the talk...and I came home early from playing outside....*shudder)
boy, age 20: I was 11 is when I started jackin off
girl, age 18: 14
boy, age 24: i was 16 anddd i didnt masturbate until i was 20
girl, age 18: um i guess 16, end of sophomore year
girl, age 16: um... 16
boy, age 18: 11.
girl, age 17: 16
girl, age 18: probably like....15
boy, age 19: 9, started jacking off around 11
boy, age 18: 4th
boy, age 18: 7th grade
boy, age 18: 10 or 11
boy, age 18: hmm, let's see... 12 i guess when it became noticeable that i remember
boy, age 17: umm, 7? kinda, i remember playing around physically with other boys, not masturbating til 7th grade.. i gues it wasn't really a sexual desire back then, but like it felt so right feeling them up n stuff
boy, age 18: 11
boy, age 19: 3rd grade? hmm....yes, 3rd grade
boy, age 17: sexual - 1st grade... masturbating -5th or 6th grade
boy, age 17: I was quite young when I thought about sex, can't give you an age, but I started masturbating in 5th grade so.....11-12
boy, age 21: lol like 12... and i jacked it then too
boy, age 18: well i began 'experimenting' more out of curiosity of the other sex before i began thinking sexual thoughts... but uh, probably like 11-12 or something, whatever 5th grade was
girl, age 17: i still don't masturbate orr have sex... ummm... i guess...13?
boy, age 18: 13
boy, age 18: cause was more like 13 for me...
boy, age 18: well i lost my virginity at 13 and i can't remember before that...
boy, age 18: 6
boy, age 18: 9

i think i'm done or now, nobody else is online

9.5 = average for boys
15 2/3 = average for girls (probably less accurate, not many girls on tonight)
9.85 = overall average

however, most people said 10-11 or even 16

there were just a couple extremes in there, it seems.. idk, those are the facts (unless i'm bad at math.. wait.. i am, feel free to double check me if you feel like it)

kandiikoated @ 2005-06-21T12:19:00

2005-06-21T17:19:15Z

malorie is going to baton rouge today, but seth is coming down to visit nick so i decided i better just stay put.. i have an appt at 1 anyways, yes.. 45 minutes from now and i'm not ready,but that's ok.. missy bought ray a bbq for his bday, and his parents and meg and eric all bbq'ed.. i sat at home

but my sitting at home ENDS TODAY! thank goodness seth's coming into town.. i've been so bored.. nobody even bothers with me anymore, but it's all fucking good!

i sent in an application or whaeva to be on the radio wednesday at 8 or something of that sort.. i sent it in with missy's name also on it.. so we can go together and amuse the masses via the radio.. i think that'd be so cool!

depositing all of my money and registering for orientation and a dorm today.. the forms are all filled out, i just need to click "ok" and bam, it'll be done!

it's about to be a girl ffight! boy, stop!

kandiikoated @ 2005-01-31T13:22:00

2005-01-31T19:23:01Z

What will you get for your birthday? by kandiikoated
username
birthday
you'll get	a mint chocolate chip flavoured condom
from	chaotik_beauty
and some cash on the side	$938

Quiz created with MemeGen!

kandiikoated @ 2005-01-29T14:07:00

2005-01-29T20:08:14Z

the only one that *should* be reading this that's in band is STAT! but in case those people i </3> NHS marching band.. eww, i hope they never do.. i mean.. check it out!

http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=1sexybandgeek

check it, yo

kandiikoated @ 2005-01-16T07:53:00

2005-01-16T13:53:24Z

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<feel [...] reply,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

please read this.. i mean, what has our world been reduced to? it's people like this that cause me to declare myself not a Christian.. i believe Jesus died on the cross to save my soul from eternal damnation and all, i read my Bible enough to know about it.. i try and do the right thing.. but there is NO WAY i would EVER consider myself the same religion as these over-zealous psycopaths

<lj-cut>

From: Harryhardwick@aol.com Add to Address Book
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2005 20:59:43 EST
Subject: (no subject)
To: eyer1337@yahoo.com

<Feel free to reply, I might be interested in hearing your reply.>

That's really not the issue, dear. The issue is whether anyone here was in the least bit interested in reading your tome of an e-mail. Unfortunately for you, no one was. But we did scroll to the bottom to get your first name, so we can pray for your sullied, disgusting soul. After all, the Bible says the worst among us are the most blessed -- I'm sure you're singing thanks for those verses.

Yours in Christ,
Brother Harry Hardwick

-----Original Message-----
From: ~>Exarch<~ [mailto:eyer1337@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, January 15, 2005 3:15 PM
To: pastor@landoverbaptist.org
Subject: Concerning your article "Winning Souls to Christ in The World of Warcraft"

I must say I have never heard of more unChristianlike behaviour in my life. To catagorize people that play games like World of Warcraft and Everquest II as either "gay boys" or "fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls" is the act of judging those you have not even met. I'm afraid I have to let you know that God frowns upon the judging of others. He is the one that is to judge us. Not some silly person thinking they are changing the world through a game. Have you yet to realize what game you are playing? WoW is considered a MMORPG, a massively multiplayer online role-playing game. In other words, thousands of people abandon their real selves to an imaginary character. They form a completely different personality, outlook, and behaviour while playing. They do this because this is what the game is about it. It's like reading a book. You don't read a book and change the main character into yourself, now do you?

It is people like you that cause me to renounce myself as a Baptist, Catholic, or any other form of organized religion. I barely consider myself Christian. I believe with all of my heart that Jesus died on the cross to save my soul from being sent to eternal damnation, and that He is the Son of God. However, I refuse to place myself into the same category as people like you. People that use force, bribery, and other pathetic attempts at bringing Christianity into the lives of others.

"I bet the Apostle Paul is so jealous!" The Bible frowns upon jealously. Good job.

Your ideas about ANY role-playing game are just.. false. I hate to tell you so, but I feel I must. You are disgracing the others that consider themselves to be Christians. People choose Horde or Alliance, or Qeynos or Freeport, according to which side they believe to be on. Perhaps they view Qeynos to be trying to form a democratic nation (Everquest II). Or perhaps they join with Freeport as they wish to not have a ruler at all. It doesn't always have to be that they choose the evil side because they are terrible people and are going straight to Hell. Like I mentioned previously.. it's a role-playing game.

So this priest you admire so greatly won't group with those simply as they have a different belief than he does? That seems like VERY unChristianlike behaviour. He is further isolating those that could very well be the ones that need guidance the most. Yet they see Christians acting like this, and it makes them wonder what ideas they get out of their Bible. Not too good of a show of the love of Jesus, now is it?

Your article states that one gamer is in favour of killing those that don't know the way of Jesus Christ. Perhaps their family doesn't go to church and they merely haven't been introduced to Jesus. Is that any reason to kill them? Only pansies and sissies go to Sunday church, hmm? You are supposed to get together and worship God, not kill those that don't. God gave us all the freedom of choice for a reason.

Giving a server-wide message of if you don't love Jesus, He'll hate you for the rest of your life is simply pathetic. Jesus loves you no matter what. He waits for you to open your heart to Him, no matter how long it takes. Could you possibly be any further from being a good Christian?

I can personally tell you that if you are following a person around and harrassing them, then your account will be the one to get a warning placed on it. You must get several warnings before you can get banned. Perhaps you should get your information straight.

You need to take a look at yourselves. I am deeply disappointed in the article. It should promptly be removed from the Internet. You should stop annoying people with your Jesus hates you messages. Jesus loves everyone. If He doesn't judge them until the final day, then what gives you, a pathetic human being that sins every day, the right to? You people are the reason that I and so many people I know renounce being Christian. The entire religion is slowly becoming corrupt. Thank goodness that I can sit at home, read my Bible and know that I shall one day go to Heaven and meet my Maker. I can greet Him with an open heart and a clear conscience, knowing that I have not made a mockery of His name. Can you say the same?

Feel free to reply, I might be interested in hearing your reply.

--Sara

i then replied with May God have mercy on your souls.

eww, scary? reminds me of that mass suicide with kool aid cult

</lj-cut>

kandiikoated @ 2004-11-23T22:28:00

2004-11-24T04:29:57Z

stolen from jeff who stole it from sarah thurman because I thought it was neat!

Post anonymously, giving me three clues to who you are. Then let me try to guess.

kandiikoated @ 2004-10-04T15:26:00

2004-10-04T20:26:34Z

the lawn peopel are here doing our yard so it's loud but i'ma crank it up and pump out some lyrics

from, you guessed it, maroon five because i love this song and it makes me cry, but in a good way

Maroon Five
~She Will Be Loved~

beauty queen of only eighteen, she
had some trouble with herself..
he was always there to help her, she
always belonged to someone else..

i drove for miles and miles and
wound up at your door..
i've had you so many times but
somehow i want more..

i don't mind spending every day..
out on your corner in the pouring rain..
look for the girl with the broken smile..
ask her if she wants to stay awhile..

and she will be loved..
and she will.. be lo0o0oved..

tap on my window,
knock on my door, i
want to make you feel beautiful..

i know i tend to get so insecure..
it doesn't matter anymore!!!

it's not always rainbows and butterflies
it's compromise that moves us along

yeah

my heart is full and my door's always open
you come anytime you want..

yeah

i don't mind spending every day..
out on your corner in the pouring rain..
look for the girl with the broken smile..
ask her if she wants to stay awhile..

and she will be loved..
and she will be loooved..
and she will be loved..
and she will be loooved..

i know where you hide
alone in your car
know all of the things
that make you who you are

i know that goodbye
means nothing at all
comes back and makes me
catch her every time she

..falls..

..yeah..

tap on my window,
knock on my door, i
want to make you feel beautiful..

i don't mind spending every day..
out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh..
look for the girl with the broken smile..
ask her if she wants to stay awhile..

and she will be loved..
and she will be loooved..
and she will be loved..
and she will be loooved..

*please don't try so hard to say goodbye*

yeah

o0o0o0oh

i don't mind spending every day.. *so hard*
out on your corner in the pouring rain.. *say goodbye*

*please don't try so hard to say goodbye*

~*~*~*~

this song makes me cry every time i listen to it.. well, when i'm around people i do my best not to cry.. but i can't always guarantee anything.. i almost bawled at justin's while watching the video.. but nah, i decided omg devin's being emo, we so don't need me to turn the waterworks on! and for NO REASOn, oh and while EVERYONE'S SLEEPING too!

jeez, i wish i had a year or two of a relationship behind me and many years ahead.. i wish i had something stable in my life that didn't change every five minutes.. i wish i had something that i know would always be there, no matter what

btw, people that socially drink beer are retards.. just reitterating (jeez at the spelling of that word) my thoughts from yesterday which i somehow brought up to becca.. and then she somehow brought up something i said about nick.. and i was like yeah, i gotta go cuz i almost started crying right then and there

i can't wait for the weekend.. quarter exams start friday.. as in, i have a bloody keyboarding exam and a quiz on SPACES wednesday.. easiest a's ever, seriously! omg.. besides, as i just told matt, band, drama (have i ever actually taken a drama class? i don't remember), ballet &c.

matt just said he made a C in keyboarding.. how the aych? i guess it's cuz he types with two fingers.. he was like i can blank out cursewords faster than you can.. yeah, well.. i'm afraid i dont need that ability anyways.. so i type properly for the most part.. so i'm pretty sure i'ma make an a on this jazz..

matt sent me this link

WHAT the HELL is that?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

kandiikoated @ 2004-09-19T04:53:00

2004-09-19T09:53:34Z

OMG I'M LJ'ING AGAIN AT 4:50 IN THE AM!!!!!!!!!!

how jealous are you?

"god damn you and your am" <

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<devin [...] nick's>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

OMG I'M LJ'ING AGAIN AT 4:50 IN THE AM!!!!!!!!!!

how jealous are you?

"god damn you and your am" <<devin

it's cold outside therefore nick and devin and i are inside and erick is sleepikng in his truck

in his driveway

and nick is reading this out loud like the biggest retard ever

yeah so anyways cuz we're all THIS bored and crap i'm updating my lj now so i can get approx. 3 minutes of sleep today cuz i gotta drive back to slidell

and like so anyways devin's a losar and sits there with his lj friends page loaded and hits refresh every two seconds and was like OMG SARA are you really going to nick's? and i was like YEAHHH and then he was like ok i wanna come so we go

edit: ok i wanna come all over your face

TYPE IT DOES TYPE IT DOES THE LILO VOICES IN MY HEAD SAY TYPE IT DOESSSSSSS YOU MUTHA EFFER

i'ma bust a cap in your MOM

reekingcheezman is no longer idle cuz he rolled over

and he's idle again cuz apparently nothing interesting happened in a minute's time

and so yeah we go to nick's and devin goes and knocks on nick's window and i'm talking to devin about his shirt and all of a suddeno nick appears behindus (prnounced "bee-hin-doos") (note: devin's no longer idle again) and then yeah we pile in the car and go to erick's and he was like wakling down his driveway and jazz

and devin and nick are big retards cuz they're reading this as i type it

by reading this i mean OUT LOUD like "your mom" <<nick's input but the real end of the sentce is RETARDED KIDS

abso-fucking-lutely no sense whatsoever says the idle devin

and anyways we all walk down a street and then back up it and then like collapse at the end of it and the other three stare at the sky and see shootings stars whjole i look at theground

and hen we all go get on the trampRETARDline-o

and eventually it got cold so erick's like let's go in the truck cuz it's warmer there and so he by himself goes and falls asleep and is there at this very moment and we left him and wanna see what happens en la manana

IT'S FOUR FIFTY AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 exactly

and then we all huddle up together for body heat and then decide to come here and so we're here and these two kids are big retarded

the end

BIG is an adverb

your mom's an adverb.. WHEN your mom.. how.. to what degree?

matt went idle like a retard and junk cuz he's "tired" but omg it's so only 5am

4:51am

DEVIN'S <font size="72">RETARDED</font>

btw

2004-06-03T15:57:25Z

for those of you that haven't really noticed since you're not my friend (i mean on lj), my journal is kinda sorta friends only.. i did that acuz i hate certain people :)

and when i say just let me know and i'll add you to my friends list so you can read my crap for crap journal, I'M NOT LYING

besides, my granny is snoopy and i hate her and she tells mr danny i look at porn cuz he kept asking me do you find everquest.. KINKY?!?! have you ever been to.. a KINKY SITE?!?!!? what the aych, no i quite haven't and eq = definately not kinky it's just a rpg?!?!

i totally LOVE my two new skirts!! being shallow is FUN! so i'ma start becoming perfect and all and maybe then i'll get back into modelling and i wanna join a pagent really soon

heyyy james is awake! i'ma go hang out with him cuz he's a dork!

kandiikoated @ 2004-06-02T04:07:00

2004-06-02T09:09:06Z

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it,
where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were but

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble,
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense but

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
And you will think, that I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

yay for happiness@

2003-11-11T04:32:46Z

first hour was ok.. we didn't really do anything.. man i gotta completely do my flipping research paper by thursday night at 9pm.. i gotta have it to mrs melton at the library before it closes.. i was like well how bout if i just drop it in the book slot and you pick it up later? cuz i haven't egven started.. hell, screw it

second hour was spent memorizing the gettysburg address mainly.. i played exceptionally well but still nice and flat (cuz the piccolo's the crappiest one ever and all that jazz) and the rep from loyola was quite impressed.. i was happy about that cuz he came recruiting today.. and like i went to third hour and then went back to band cuz coach racist sucks

and i talked to the rep.. he was like bleh and didn't really make me wanna go to loyola that much.. he wasn't enthused about much.. and they don't have a terrific computer majoring thing.. loyola's THE best in the nation and possibly the world (not sure about world, but it's so the best here.. been ranked top music for past forever) for music.. so idk i don't wanna major in music really.. i don't know what i want to do.. like seriously, i don't have the faintest idea :(

did the gettysburg address and got 100/125 on it cuz i didn't memorize it all the way cuz i got stuck and was like aww screw it and just said what i knew in whatever order it came out in and yeah that class sucks so much wang.. i can't wait for it to be over

fifth hour was ok.. we had a test and guess who failed (yet again?) then we worked on our programs and mine sucks and doesn't really work so yeah that's crappy but i took a tardy for seventh hour and mr fisher told me how to fix the laptop that mr freddy TERRIBLY BROKED! cuz he's slow and dl'ed a virus >:o which deletes files needed for the bootleg program >:O or bootstrap.. whatever it's called! I FORGOT CUZ I'M STUPID AND SLOW AND I SUCK LIKE THAT thanks!

seventh hour sucked cuz i just slept and didn't care and i never care so is it important? no

went to work an hour early cuz idk i randomly was sposed to go in at five.. so i sat upsturrs and was like yeah i wanna go to the next huge party someone has and like i explained that they're huge drug/alcohol parties but i still wanna go sooooo much cuz i mean i'll drink but i'm not gunna drink more than a few sips cuz sara isn't a fool and doesn't wanna get drunk and wind up having sex with some guy, get a baby, stds, yeah.. whatever!

and i mean it kinda disappoints me that matt doesn't even want me to go.. do i suck THATTTTTTTT much?!?! WHAT THE HELL! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A TOTAL FREAKING LOSAR! matt, of all people, doesn't even think i'm fun to hang around with! hell! how do you flirt with someone you're trying to keep secret?! THAT'S IT.. I GIVE UP! I'MA JUST DO WHAT HE SAID AND FLIRT

cuz i forgot today cuz idk i forgot what all happened already

BUT DANG IT

YOU WATCH
TOMORROW

MY GOAL IN LIFE

WILL BECOME TO ACT WILD AND CRAZY

and i don't care if he's gunna get pissed at me for what i'ma do

HE SAID TO DO IT! so i'm gunna! *evil grin* it'll be most enjoyable for me! cuz mmmmmmmmmmmmm

see? i'm not as innocent as everyone thinks i am

SO THERE

cuz i hate you too and yeah

i didn't even go into work.. oh well, nothing really good happened and nothing really bad happened.. it was slow, that's all except i broke my thumb maybe cuz i slammed it really really hard

but it's ok

cuz tomorrow sara's gunna have lots and lots of fun!

hmm

2003-11-10T21:23:42Z

You are Lust!
Sexy!! But they say that theres such a thing as too
much of a good thing. You have sex on the
brain, and it doesn't stay just there for long.
Passionate, Fiery - and most certainly
confident. You're a fun loving, spontaneous
person who is always up for a laugh. People
however, have trouble keeping up with you.
You're sex crazy, and perhaps need to tone it
down a bit! learn a little self control!
But, Hey, Congratulations on being the Sexiest Red
Hot deadly sin out of all the 7...

?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

sundays=score now :-p

2003-11-10T01:44:26Z

so after stan and i decided we were gunna randomly show up at matt's house.. stanie called matt and asked :-X of course stanie didn't tell matt i was gunna come though.. but then ten minutes later.. he did.. woah, kinda defeated the purpose there eh? went to matt's, picked him up.. omg <3

drove to jane's.. man, stan's one psycho driver :P i could so easily pwn him in teh lexus though and i'll have to do that one day

picked jane up and went to cici's pizza only stanie got lost on the way.. ate some pizza, then went back to jane's.. dropped my lesbian lover and jane off.. then stan and i didn't know what to do.. so i asked this kid if i could play football with him and he was like sure.. so we played football and then stan helped me climb the tree only it was slick so i kinda fell out and would've smashed my face/head into the groud (cuz i was ahgning upside down) but stanie caught me! yay!

then we went to the park where stanie said he smelled weed and these girls were like high as hey.. i could tell when they started running and crap// thy were really messed up but like five minutes later it got really darkk

so we went l ike acorss the road to stan's friendssss apartment.. they sure are a trusting group.. they started drinking and all.. and when their big ghetto black tall drug dealer came by, they had me answer the door.. the dude just kinda looked down at me like what the hey? it was funny

and i smell like alcohol and weed.. that's never good :-p oh well, i don't care.. i have a headache from all the smoke but i'll live.. it was only the smoke from the ciggerettes bothering me though.. any other kind of smoke and i'm fine.. it's just something about ciggeretetes and i can't even spell it

y'know smoetimes it seems like matt likes jane even though she's a lesbian.. oh well, he's already told me i'm not the only girl he likes *sigh*

so whatever

hmm

i work tomorrow

wednesday i think stanie might want me to work for him idk i'll ask him about it later.. i think it was mentioned but i'm not surea at this potnt

matt says i'm not the kind of person people would want to invite to a party.. sometimes i wish i did all those terrible things so i could have fun.. just to go places.. i don't think the actual doing of drugs or alcohol would be fun, but being around more humans and just hanging out and having fun would be great.. i mean, not even matt invites me to go anywhere with him..

am i THAT boring/ that ANNOYING!? >:o

i'm a wild, crazy person that does almost anything.. it takes very little to propmt me to do crazy psycho things that oucld get me killed

at parties, people are always just making out.. well i can't help it if..

maybe people do think i'm stupid and boring

i wish i could prove em wrong

maybe i will

maybe i'll just randomly start making out with *someone*

and like cade, i heard him mentioned today,. friday he said he was supplying all the alcohol for the party.. hell, i can supply alcohol.. all it would take for me to get unlimited amounts is for me to ask brittany, and brittany asks my momma.. brittany wants me to get drunk and be wild and crazy, she'd probably even pay for it, who knows..

i wouldn't want to supply beer or crap anyways cuz idk that's like being used..

i'm so whack right now

the weirdest thing is...........

and im not even gunna say what i am right now cuz yeah hell nobody would even believe me cuz i'm lil innocent sara and lil innocent sara never wants to do any of those *bad* things! :-o

f wrod you

cuz i hate eoeple

i wanna be wild and crazy and stupid and normal sometimes

but then, wehere would i be?

man, all i smell is weed

haha matt told me to be all flirty

so i'ma flirt with other guys

ssee what happens

arg

2003-11-09T16:27:25Z

sara has to invent a C++ program today that finds and prints the first four perfect numbers and their factors! dang, that's gunna suck.. it's due wednesday and guess who hasn't started cuz nothing's important anymore?

i also have to memberize the entire gettysburg address.. that shouldn't be too terribly difficult.. i can probably nail it in thirty and some-odd minutes..

matt's so lucky.. i wish i had a cool older brother like keegon and a terrific friend like orsen.. *sigh* i hate being me sometimes.. but then other times it's just dandy! when i sit and have time to think, i think about anything and everything.. and it slowly depresses me..

without cable internet and a super 1337 machine, i don't have everquest.. everquest.. saves me.. it takes up any and all free time that i have and i'm never sad.. but here i sit, alone and eq-less..

OMG thursday brandon and nicole and maybe jeffm are coming to sleeping beauty! i told stan he has to come.. and maybe other people from work'll come! edwin has to close thursday so he can't :( i asked a bunch of my friends to come but of course catholic has to be gay and have open house on the night of my performance.. oh, and at the same time too! >:o so joe, jeff, matt, sana.. all of them can't make it.. patrick might come! :)

matt's momma might come! i'ma have him ask her.. or i'ma go over there and ask her myself.. i really hope matt comes.. a lot of people from school are already in it.. such as orsen..

haha dude ken+zac+owen=hilarious! they're the foreign princes.. and like idk.. i talked to ken for awhile on friday while we weren't in the scene.. he was asking about karliekinz cuz apparently matt doesn't want people to know her name but shows them pictures of her! idk.. whatever, i'm not even gunna go there before i get all pissy..

then i was like whre's zac? zacccccc! where are youuuu cuz he missed his entrance for the rose adage.. and san jay was like o0o0o0o0oh do you LIKE zac? i was like no :-\ and he was like look me in the eye and tell me that! so i looked him in the eye and was like i don't like zac cuz i like somebody else.. and he was like who! who! and i waslike that's not important.. but he kept asking me and ohmeed started asking too.. so i was like FINE i like matt! and thy were like OOOOOOOOOOH YOU GOT DUMPED TODAY! i was like no, that's matt mahoney and leighanne, that girl right there

i was like i like matt stokes! <3! and san jay didn't know who it was and then like twenty minutes later he was like STOKES WAS IN MY BIOLOGY CLASS! i was like ok! but bah, why do people always ask me who i like? i'm not gunna COMPLETELY lie and say oh, i don't like anyone! cuz that's terrible! i like someone so very very dear to me.. yup..

josh kept being loud at rehersal and pretending to fight everyone and i was getting annoyed cuz you gotta be quiet offstage.. so i was like JOSH, STOP IT! >:O and he was like sara don't worry i'm not gunna really fight and i was like i don't care if you fight, just SHUT UP.. and he was like yeah uh huh and i was like or i'll slit your throat.. he was quiet then :-p people don't realize that i could so easily pwn them if i was allowed to keep knives and the such on me..

i need to teach karliekinz html though cuz omg it's so funny.. she was like what's "a" on her comment kmfo.. karlieeeee.. a is for a href.. linking.. < a href = " www.chick-fil-a.com/ " > this text here will be what is seen and clickable.. wheny ou click this, it'll automatically start loading the link < / a >

i hope that actually prints.. i added spaces hoping it wouldn't recognize any of it as html..

fourteen hours later!

2003-11-09T05:41:35Z

yup, sara worked a FOURTEEN HOUR SHIFT today! went in at 8am.. got there before edwin even :-p

i was clueless about what to do.. so i made buttered biscuits.. then chicken biscuits.. then sausage biscuits.. made a few BEC biscuits too.. then i jumped on register until 10 30, breaked for 30 minutes.. came back as boards.. did boards ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL day! I WAS SO THRILLED! breaked again with karlie, brittany, kacie and nicole.. i was in a generally good mood.. then matt got mentioned and i kinda got very agitated within two seconds.. idk, something's been bothering me a wholeeee bunch.. and i'ma talk about it to him tomorrow (hopefully) and if not then, perhaps tuesday?

idk i NEED to talk to him.. because just thinking about this makes me so sick i wanna throw up.. that's generally not a good thing! :(

but yeah.. i'm such a freak.. nobody else that i know is so terribly worried about the future.. i can't imagine life without matt.. well i can, it's just crappy as hell and i wanna throw up.. like i said.. i mean.. i'm perfectly happy right now just knowing what i know.. but sometimes.. it just.. it seems like the opposite.. i yeah him so much and i can't see myself ever not yeahing him so much.. i don't know..

i just want to be with him so much

that's all

i can't wait to go to his house :) or have him come over here :) <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and OMG rusty came in and i didn't realize it was him.. then i was like WOAH RUSTY i didn't recognize you outside of your clothes! (note: i left out STREET, cuz he was in work) and he was like HAHAHA yeah

and as he was leaving he was like i get off at 9pm and i was like ok! see you then, lover! and he was like yup! and then he stopped.. and he was looking down.. and then he looked back at me, then down again.. and walked back.. and he was like y'know, there just HAPPENS to be a condom laying outside of chick fil a.. IT WAS SO RANDOM.. cuz at that EXACT instant that we were joshin' around, A CONDOM APPEARED.. so i almost died laughing.. then had to go and sweep up the condom.. cuz chick fil a can't have a condom laying in front of it! s truett cathy wouldn't approve!

so then nicole was like WELL AT LEAST IT'S SAFE SEX! iw as like HAHHAHAHAHA cuz idk i was in a laugh-y mood cuz i wasn't thinking about death (code for life without matt)

kandiikoated @ 2003-11-07T00:17:00

2003-11-07T06:18:05Z

don't hate me cuz i'm manic depressive

IT'S CUZ I'M MANIC DEPRESSIVE, ISN'T IT?!?!

2003-11-07T04:53:02Z

i didn't wake up until 2ish on tuesday cuz i didn't have enough energy to get out of bed.. i then crawled into my momma's room and slept in her bed, then slept on the couch.. yeah then went to sleep at 6pm for the night.. great.. no, i'm not sick

went to school wendesday.. found out i missed a test in sixth hour.. didn't even know we had one.. whatever, make it up tuesday.. didn't turn in my notecards cuz mrs melton wasn't there.. sat there staring blankly at nothing during clubs cuz i didn't have energy.. almost died and was so close to tears during band.. iwas just so dead.. it hurt to move my body the slightest bit..

fifth hour.. i kinda laid there just liike band.. i was too tired to do anything.. in sixth hour mrs parker yelled at me for having my head down so i sat up but lacked the energy to hold my body upright and fell backwrads so my head was stil laying down.. i was just halfway backbending.. took my quiz in seventh and fell asleep..

rehersal was grand! cast b was onstage so a was free to wander.. i passed the time with the best guy in the whole wide world.. haha dude.. omg.. *dreamy smile* i'm so lucky..

oh yeah .. crazie krewe's going to the championship! whoop whoop!

first hour.. bleh i did nothing.. third hoour we had to recite the gettysburg address.. well we had a fire drill.. tehn we watched a moovay.. tehn coach washington remembered we had to do it.. and juan was like START FROM THE BACK and i was like NOOOOOOOOOO and so we flipped a coin and i won so we started from the front.. whew.. fourth was fun cuz we danced in our costumes.. fifth was ok.. idk.. seventh i slept.. rehersal was ok.. we just goofed a bunch.. when paul awoke allison.. i cringed and thought about how much i miss matt..

work was ok.. taira is SO getting on my nerves.. she told ME to get ice when i was cleaning.. some nerve.. so i was like no, you do it! i'm busy.. and then she let all of her cups get unstocked and her ketchup.. then told me to fill it, that it wasn't her job.. and turned on her heels and went to do nothing in the DR.. it's getting old.. i'm tired of her.. but yeah

tomorrow is our first run of the entire show.. cast a.. yay! mrs mathews is proud o fme cuz i found owen, ken and zac and got them in the ballet room at 2:35 for rehersal for the rose adage! yaya! saturda y i soo get to work frokm 8a, until like 10pm! HOW COOL IS THAT! it's good cuz i need the hours badly too..

THURSDAY!!!!!
7PM!!!!!!!!
BRHS AUDITORIUM!!!!!!

SLEEPING BEAUTY!!!!

come! bring flowers! or i shall be most depressed.. please.. it'd really mean a lot to me if you'd come.. please.. thank you :)

ehh?

2003-11-04T05:13:40Z

today was kinda weird.. first hour.. we read a story.. i have five bib cards due tomorrow that i'ma make up whenever cuz guess who doesn't give a flip? i've already told mrs melton i hate this paper and i will put the minimum effort forward to get the lowest a possible cuz it's not worth my time nor effort..

band was whack.. jasmin and i spent twenty minutes just passing out music cuz it was in no order whatsoever.. then we played it.. it was choral and alliehujah cuz i can spell and all.. we played it in ninth grade so the seniors and jenne and i remembered it and played it with a grand florish.. then we played blue lake.. holy crap, as a freaking piccolo player my notes are written an octave lower than flute.. well guess what? it wasn't! so guess who was passing out pretending to even try to play HIGH b.. i mean, we're talking a note i think six bars off the measure.. add another like six cuz it SOUNDS an octave higher.. i'ma die trying to practise it tomorrow..

then maxwell was being a jerk, as usual.. he was annoying the hey out of me.. so i asked campo if i could slit his throat.. campo said i could slap him and he'd gladly go in the music room to look for some music.. then he was like actually, just shove your shoe down his throat.. then jenne offered up her shoe, then we started a class collection of shoes to shove down ihis throat.. NOBODY likes maxwell.. then after class, campo told maxwell he better stop sucking so much wang at playing and start behaving or he's out pretty much.. thank goodness

third hour sucked cuz coach racist sucks.. i was full out shouting at him and he was shouting back at me.. i will NOT put up with his crap anymore, i'm just tired of it.. he's such a loser, i hate him so much.. lunch was ok.. idk GAH i mean just one day of not atking that medicine and i'm back to my angry self.. and i was so furious.. i didn't want to make people be pissed at me..

fifth hour, i just put my head down cuz i was still terribly pissed off at coach.. matt was like stop sulking.. hell, i'll sulk all i freaking want cuz it's not fair that coach is taking off points for correct answers.. i got happy somewhat again though but then i got pissed off again and socked hastings in the stomach and that poor boy doubled over.. then i hit him upside the head again cuz he said something and idk i just saw red and exploded.. i have one comment left on my program and then i gotta print it out and that's all

seventh hour, idk i just passed out.. hehe i woke up though right before ms parrino started picking on owen and zac

went to rehersal.. i was the first one dressed in.. and omg i ran around trying to find guys and i told orsen like three times to come kmfo but he kept wandering.. DUDE ORSEN IS SO MY LORD! he's lord john and i'm lady margaret! how cool is that? orsen r0x0rz cuz he's orsen

and i have two lines in the play!@ it's so nifty! went to work.. told edwin about my psycho momma coming in and taking the tv while i was in the middle of the maxtrix:reloaded.. edwin was like wow she's psycho and TODAY'S AMBER'S BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER!

she's 21 now! she was gunna invite me to her bday party but she know si'm grounded.. tonight was fun.. we finished early, and i called my momma at 9:25 and was like we'll be done in ten minutes.. she wasn't out there at 9:32.. so nicole let me sit in her car and we waited.. she arrived at 10:20.. i was pissed.. gtg.. they're listening for typing..

trampolines are fun

2003-11-03T01:15:48Z

yup, we bought another one and we're getting like two more before the week's over :-p

woke up, went to church.. wore chris's pants, my momma had a heart attack.. i went in the kiddie church today.. they had every age group in one room doing a puppet show.. it was ok i guess.. people weren't so whack this time.. btw it's pentacostal, not presty-whaaaa.. my mistake

afterwards we went to ryan's.. then instead of going jet skiing as promised, we went to covington.. we stopped by the theatre (holiday) but there wasn't a moovay we all wanted to see so we kinda left.. then we went to uhh.. uhh.. where'd we go? oh yeah best buy.. then we just went to a bunch of random places in covington.. cool lil city..

then we came home.. i didn't have anymore 37.5mg pills left, so they went to pick up my prescription.. well i took the puppy out (keep in mind, this dog isn't even close to a year old.. it's like six or seven months).. holy moo cow.. i thought i was gunna die cuz it would run and tackle me full force and i'd fly back cuz it's HUGE and weighs as much as me.. well i decided to walk to the park with her.. well she saw another dog.. and literally dragged me down the road.. we were in the grass, luckily.. i stained up some pants and a shirt pretty bad (the dog flew forward so fast that i just dropped to my knees and then she pulled me) it was funny though but then i tied the puppy up at the park and was building a sandcastle and these guys came up and were all like hey wanna go party at suchandsuch club and iwas like no id on't want to then they left cuz i started crying

came home and took a shower and fell down in the shower and just cried and got out and medicine was on the counter for me and parents were gone and it was soething different it's 10mg of something and it says take once a day at night,, i'm sposed to be taking 37.5mg a day twice a day for 5 days then 75mg in am, 37.5 in pm for 5 days then 75 twice a day.. so we called walkgreens or whatever and they like oh just take one a day starting tomorrow

but i don't feel good i keep cryig and nothing's wrong with me and i should be happy but i keep crying like i try and open my door and since it's broked it's hard and i cry and i don't feel good

i laughed, i cried..

2003-11-02T05:57:53Z

ANGER MANAGEMENT

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and
you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I
had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A
man answered saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak
with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on
me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had
transposed the last two digits of her phone number). After
hanging up with her, I decided to call the "wrong number"
again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a~~hole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down, with the word "a~~hole" next to it,
and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I
was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and
yell, "You're an a~~hole!". It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic
"a~~hole" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number
and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company.
I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID
program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I
quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
a~~hole!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a
parking spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled
into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and
yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first a~~hole
(I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call
the BMW a~~hole, too.. I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I
said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes it
is. "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house
and the car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he
said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every
evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?" "Don, you're an a~~hole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a~~holes to call...

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoy-
able as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called
A~~hole #1.

"Hello"
"You're an a~~hole!" (but I didn't hang up).
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah", I said.
"Stop calling me", he screamed "Make me", I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah?"
"Where do you live?"
"A~~hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house
with my black Beemer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better
start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a~~hole."

Then I called a~~hole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello A~~hole", I said...
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your a~~", he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, a~~hole, here's your chance. I'm coming
over right now".

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying
that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way
over there to kill my gay lover. Then, I called Channel 13
news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street... I
quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.

There, I saw two a~~holes beating the crap out of each other
in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news
crew.

Now, I feel better.

I HEART CHICK FIL A !!!!!!!!

2003-11-02T04:58:46Z

soooooo GUESS WHO WAS THE MOOOOOOOOO COW FRIDAY FOR HALLOWEEN!>!>!>!>! :-D

it was soooooo much fun omgomgomgomgomgomgomg

but then we got busy busy and mr matt thought we wouldn't be so i ditched the moo cow suit and flew to boards and pwnt boards.. i'm so 1337 at em now, it's awesome.. practise does make perfect!

OMGOMGOMG AND TODAY......................

i came in at 10 30.. watched videos until 12, clocked on, sampled (fun!) then brandon was the cow and jeffm/avril and i went out and did jazz with the moo cow.. then came back, sampled once, went on break, came back, DR.. THEN GUESS WHO SHOWED UP?!?!?!?! MATTTTTTTTTT!! AND ORSEN!!!!!!!!!!!! AND STANIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG

and i was so hyper and happy that edwin sent me on break !!! so i bummed around with em for thirty minutes.. omg i so missed just being around matt.. dude i wanna so hang out with orsen, stanie and matt one day.. they're so teh coolest!!11!

anyways when icame back from my break, i had to clean the dr.. it was filthy.. i had to wipe down everything and take out the trash.. and i was doing that while talking at the same time.. now edwin here, who stops and randomly walks off and goes to waldenbooks or the calander store to talk to sara or his friends.. told me to stop fraternizing and get to work although i was completely working.. then when becca and i went to take out trash, they walked with us.. and orsen liek climbed a ladder and went on the roof or something and like security came after him kmfo

then they went to go see a moovay.. I SO GOT A HUG!!!!!!! I ALMOST EXPLODED WITH HAPPINESS! i was floating on air the rest of the night and my heart was so pounding.. haha he's so amazing.. matt>any anti depressant drugs anyone could ever give me.. haha :-D

i can't wait until i'm ungrounded.. i'm not gunna get grounded anymore.. hell, i'll put up with their silly curfews.. cuz january 3rd, i'm allowed to stay out until all hours of the night.. which means guess who's NOT coming home on her birthday! kmfo..

OMG MATT IS SO FLIPPING AWESOME

/faint

/drool

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! COME ON! NEEEEEEEEEED.......... MEEEEEEEEEE......... SOMEEEEEEEEEEEE.........

i </3 fall fair

2003-10-31T21:22:45Z

so classes went by quickly today.. thank goodness.. bleh, i'm tired of school now.. it's annoying me.. i was talking to ms parrino about it at lunch.. how all this is just annoying cuz i mean i finished all english i'd need forever by 7th grade.. i never was in a class with normal humans.. guess who got pulled out every single day or didn't even go to class? yeah.. by the time i was in third grade, i was done with all my elementary school work.. so, instead of skipping me, they gave me my own teacher and i learned at such a rapid pace.. it was quite fun.. cuz i know so much now cuz of it..

but being in class with normal humans annoys me cuz .. like math, showing my work.. i don't know how i do it, i just solve anything given to me if i just sit and think about it for a second.. how do you show work when your brain just picks up the formula, rearranges it as needed, plugs in the numbers and you magically come up with the right answer?

and english.. i don't even need to be in class.. i could just take the tests and get an A cuz it's all review.. american history is nothing but the stuff we covered in civics and a bunch of racist opinions.. and when i try and educate myself and speak out and learn and interact, i am told to shut up by the class.. that my points are not valid.. yet they don't even understand what i'm trying to get at.. stupid, stupid humans

leslie (or whatever her name is) approached me today.. the girl that commented on my lj a few times.. she seems like a nice person.. for her sake, and a few other people who just hang out with the wrong people i guess, not all of the chiclets suck.. just a vast majority of em.. i just can't stand to be around people like them.. it's just their personalities.. but then again, i don't like being around humans at all..

haha speaking of chiclets, at fall hfair.. NOBODY wanted to buy em.. they were like COME ON YOU GET LIKE TWENTY GIRLS FOR FIVE BUCKS! *crickets* i was /rofl, seriously..

fall fair kinda sucked though.. i just walked around being chris.. with jenne.. i wanted to talk to matt since there's never any other time.. but somebody said something to him and it made him sick (not physically, mentally y'know)

i randomly volunteered at the junior booth and played with loren koren's double edged axe..

i get to be the cow today! omgomgomg scoreeee cuz liek yeah idk it's gunna be fun.. i close tonight, and i'm glad.. i wouldn't want to be sitting at home.. by myself.. *sigh*

stupid anti depressants don't work.. i've been getting progressivly worse..

briam, read your comment.. i'm praying that all this wears off.. i'm generally a very happy person.. i'm just disgusted with people and their ways.. that's not depression.. idk.. i need a hug.. /cry